I write this reflection

having recently celebrated 

the 33rd anniversary 

of my ordination into 

Word and Sacrament Ministry. 

I am therefore, 

writing this reflection 

as a letter to my 26-year-old self 

for my ordination day.

Dear Charlene,

Today, 

you will be ordained 

into the Ministry of Word and Sacrament. 

Today, 

you will be surrounded 

by family and friends. 

Today, 

hands of those who love you 

and who have gone before you 

will be laid upon you. 

Today, 

prayers will be prayed for you 

and over you. 

Today, 

you will be filled with hope. 

That is as it should be. 

You have answered the call of the Holy Spirit 

through the church 

to preach and teach,

to administer the sacraments, 

to care for God’s people in word and deed,

 and to speak for justice and mercy in the world.

Today, 

you will hear words of grace,

and you will speak words of covenantal commitment. 

Today, 

you will take Jesus’ yoke upon you. 

Today, 

you join a long line of God’s apostles 

called to be ministers of grace. 

Today, 

you will join the ever-growing numbers of women 

who have heard and answered this call.

There is immeasurable joy 

that you will know in this life 

to which you have been called. 

It is a profound and holy calling 

to walk with people through birth and death. 

It is a profound and holy calling 

to be trusted with people’s

most sacred stories. 

It is a profound and holy calling

to speak truth to power. 

It is a profound and holy calling 

to speak words of forgiveness, 

wash people in God’s life-giving waters, 

and feed God’s people 

at the table that stretches all the way to heaven and back.

You will make a difference in people’s lives. 

Others will know Jesus’ love because of you. 

You will lead worship 

that draws people 

into experiences of the presence of God. 

You will preach with power, 

and through your words, 

you will reach into the tombs 

where people have buried their lives, 

and God will raise people to new life.

The Incarnation in John 1,

the Road to Emmaus in Luke 24, 

and the Woman at the Well in John 4 

will all become 

defining stories for you.

You will fall in love with campus ministry. 

You will teach people to preach. 

Catherine of Sienna 

will become a spiritual guide. 

You will become passionate 

about vocation. 

You will be humbled 

by the immense trust 

that people will place in you. 

You will rejoice 

that so many –

so many --

you have accompanied 

will answer the call to a life of public ministry. 

You will be filled 

with the joy of accompaniment

amid spiritual discernment. 

You will be a holy presence of care 

and a voice for women. 

You will be surprised by the places 

that you will get to serve.

And

 you will be refined by fire. 

This is a hard 

and holy calling. 

You will experience 

the Body of Christ 

in all of its frail brokenness. 

There will be those who will be unkind – 

outright mean at times, 

even vile. 

There will be those 

who do not want to hear 

words of grace –

from you. 

There will be those 

who will treat you 

as less than human

because you are a woman,

and because

you are a woman 

who loves a woman. 

There will be those 

who reject you 

because of their understandings 

of what the Bible says. 

You will experience things 

that you will have a hard time believing capable 

from the people of God. 

You will be hurt. 

Your heart will break.

And

you are called 

to Word and Sacrament Ministry.

For this you were created.

Through that great cloud of witnesses 

that surrounds you, 

you will never be alone. 

The Holy Spirit will be a mantle 

around your shoulders. 

The Gospel will be a seal upon your heart. 

God will bring good out of the evil. 

That is not a platitude –

it is a promise. 

There will be many times 

when you will have had enough

and want to quit. 

Others have felt the same 

for centuries, 

And

God is bigger than all of it. 

Remember that. 

God will sustain you. 

Return to your baptism daily. 

Feast often upon God’s holy food. 

Trust the companions 

God will give you 

for your journey. 

Do not lose heart, 

And

do not be afraid.

I wish I could tell you

that there will come a time 

in your lifetime 

when the church 

will no longer be a place 

of sexism,

heterosexism,

racism,

 and bigotry, 

and become a place 

where words – 

and deeds – 

are no longer used 

to inflict violence. 

But 

you’re smarter than that. 

You know 

that where there are people, 

there will be pain. 

Where there are people, 

there will be abuses of power. 

Words will often wound you, 

And

the wounds will always hurt. 

I wish that wounding words 

worked like immunizations, 

But

they do not. 

They will hurt as much 

33 years from now 

as they do today,

And

you will be a different person then. 

You will be smarter than you are today. 

Trust that.

You will come to know 

the importance of the exits. 

Know where the doors are 

in every place you serve, 

every place you learn, 

every place you are. 

You do not have to be a punching bag

for another person’s pain. 

You do not have to 

simply take the arrows 

that will come your way.

You do not have to be

“Minnesota nice” 

when the words are hurled 

like weapons to silence you. 

You can speak truth to power 

by walking out the door. 

You can say

“no” 

when others abuse you 

by witnessing with your feet. 

You can empower 

someone else 

to leave the playground 

when there is a bully afoot 

by leaving yourself. 

Don’t be afraid to do it. 

You will embody the Gospel 

for yourself 

and 

for others 

when you claim

that the church 

is a place of safety 

by using the door 

when you have to. 

So, 

know where the exits are.

And

today, 

on this your ordination day, 

it’s not about exits –

it’s about a door 

opened to you, 

inviting you in, 

calling to you, 

And

sending you out. 

Today, 

the door opens

 to your life of

Word and Sacrament

ministry. 

Walk through it. 

Know 

that you have been 

crucified with Christ, 

And

“it is no longer you who lives, 

but Christ who lives in you.”

“Enter God’s gates 

with thanksgiving 

and God’s courts 

with praise.” 

And

then go, 

feed God’s sheep. 

Tend God’s lambs. 

Feed God’s sheep.

“Set your face 

toward Zion’s Hill, 

the city of your God. 

Look not to the left or right, 

but where your Master trod.”

“Take the yoke of Jesus 

upon you, 

learn from him, 

for this yoke is easy, 

And

Jesus’ burden is light.”

God bless your journey. 

I’ll see you in 33 years.

Charlene