Maybe I should do something else for work?

If you're working in ministry through this season, raise your hand if you've thought this, said this in confidence to your friends, or just blatantly set it out loud. I keep thinking about all the other things I could be doing. People tend to play out different scenarios in their head — kind of like picking the ending of those Goosebumps books. If I didn't like the outcome, I just went back and picked the other option. Sometimes I play the “What If'' game. What if I had gone to dental school and spent my days telling people they should floss more? What if I had stayed in the field of journalism? What if I hadn’t moved or had taken a different job? 

My friends in ministry have spent many hours dreaming about everything from starting our own churches, inventing cool gadgets, driving for UPS, to creating content. A lot of this dreaming is just for fun. But the dreams have hit a little heavier and have been a little more frequent lately. 

So why do we feel like this so often?

For me, it starts with false logic. It goes a little like this: when things are hard, I feel like I'm doing a bad job. I believe if I'm doing a bad job, I must not be a good fit. And if I'm not a good fit, then I should just give up. Well things have been hard a lot lately. We claim that it's “just a season,” but that season seems to keep getting extensions. So then I have to ask why things are this hard?

Well, the demand to produce ministry is so high. Too high. It feels like we have to make up for Covid lost time. I feel so much pressure to perform at a certain capacity, to get a certain amount of things done, to push for more and better ministry. That is exhausting, and not exhausting like how I feel after Christmas Eve, or a mission trip, or family game night. It's fatigue, it is a lack of energy, and it's really hard to get pulled out of that.

We’re close enough to the new year to be setting resolutions and goals, right? Here are some of the things I'm going to strive to remind myself and put in practice moving forward:

1. It’s not my job to solve everything myself.

2. I can manage my energy more efficiently.

3. I can focus on the values behind my ministry that give me purpose and joy.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in trying to solve problems, trying to build relationships with everyone, being a really good team leader, preaching a really good message, and upholding the church that I lose sight of God. One of my friends and colleagues is really good at reminding me of this: I am not Jesus. I am not the savior of the world. I do not carry the weight of salvation on my shoulders. God is God, I am not. And not only does that provide me relief when I remember it, but also it reminds me that God is at work – that we are working in tandem with God. 

One of my professors said it this way: “God is responsible for God's Church.” Meaning, at the end of the day, there is truly only so much that I can do. There is only so much you can do.

So I'm going to ground myself in the truth that God is at work in our ministries, through us and around us.

Second, I want to manage my energy better. Energy plays a key role in my attitude and in my ability to enjoy my work. I always talk about how I have 10 coins. These 10 coins represent the amount of energy that I have every day. I start the day with 10 coins and throughout the day different tasks and social interactions deplete the bank. At the end of the day I go home and relax. I do the things that I need to do to replenish the bank.

I want to pay more attention to how expensive certain tasks are. In particular, I know there is one project in my ministry that almost depletes my entire energy bank. So I know I should hand-off that project to someone for whom it will cost less to do. Now this doesn't work for every task that I have, and it might not work for every task you have. But I do have the authority to delegate and give tasks to somebody for whom it will bring life. This may be support staff or a volunteer – somebody who will be excited about the project and will be willing to invest in it; this will be better for me and better for the ministry itself. 

Third, I want to spend more time focused on my ministry values instead of ministry tasks. 

I’ve found this to be a more helpful lens through which to view my work. Two very important elements of ministry for me are relationships and team dynamics. I want the relationships I have with students, parents, and other congregants to take priority. This might seem like a no brainer, but it often feels like a genuine challenge to prioritize relationships. This might be pausing just a little bit longer between worship to catch a few more people or to have longer conversations. This might mean less teaching and more listening.

Team dynamics are also of high value because I believe a cohesive team can withstand turmoil, handle conflict, encourage creativity, and carry out vision. My, oh my, do team dynamics take a lot of time and care. But I’ve seen the work pay off and it’s worth it. 

In sum, please know you are not alone in your struggles, in your weariness. There is so much in this moment that we do not get control over and that demands our mental, physical, and spiritual energy. We can acknowledge and accept that, while also working toward practices that reinvigorate the why of our calling to ministry.

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