I Am A Woman With A Reputation (Luke 7:36-58)
I am drawn to women’s stories –
in their own voices,
about their own lives,
telling their own experiences.
I am drawn to women’s stories –
Women from around the world,
across cultures,
traditions,
ages,
time,
and space.
I am drawn to women’s passionate,
powerful,
principled,
persistence,
Women’s trials,
and women’s triumphs.
I am drawn to women’s stories –
who tells them,
in what voice,
and for what purpose.
In the stories of women,
I find solidarity –
of expectation,
experience,
expression.
And I find hope.
This is especially true
when it comes
to biblical women,
and I am eager
to elevate
and imagine
the stories
of biblical women
in ways that
might draw us
more profoundly
into their own voices –
rather than
into the
voices,
perspectives,
and opinions
of the men
who wrote about them.
If,
for example,
the woman
who anointed Jesus’ feet
could speak for herself,
what would she say?
How
would she
tell her own story?
What follows,
is my imagination
of this woman
in her own voice
in her own words
telling
her story
on her terms.
And yes,
perhaps,
at least to some extent –
she is me
and I am her
and
some universal
something
of everywoman
is woven
in the way
the threads
of her story
come to life
through my imagination.
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I am a woman with a reputation
It goes before me
And behind me
And beside me
And beneath me
It precedes me like an acid incense -
Burning shame -
That is my fame
Full of blame
For a life that is lived
Past tense –
Looking back
Rearview mirror
Stumbling forward
Falling down
With nowhere to go
My burden of woe
Continues to grow
As they think they know
What has made me
So
I am
Judged for
What I’ve done
Who I’ve been
Where I’ve gone
Who I’ve known
With their words
And their looks
And their whispers
And their sneers
They throw stones
That cut me to the bone.
I am a woman with a reputation
I live a story
I didn’t write
Though I might
Have
I don’t know -
But this is true
I want to be through
With this life that
Keeps me
On the outside
Dirty
And within
I don’t want it anymore
I abhor
Who they think
I am
And make me out to be
What they see
Is that me?
I cannot take it
Or shake it
Or make it go away -
Everyday
I pay
For
What
Clings like glue
From you
To my skin
I cannot win
I am sin
-Or so they say.
I am a woman with a reputation
I can make no recompense
For this pain so intense
I don’t mean to make offense
But my sorrow is immense
And my despair
trails me like
Death’s own shadow
Even though
I don’t know
How to say it
Or make them get it
Or believe it
Or dare
To care that
My soul needs repair -
But all they see
Is a woman with a reputation -
In this nation
That is my station
Of damnation
But I have heard
That there is One
Who has a reputation
Of salvation
With his words
And with his deeds -
He condemns greed
While he feeds
The hungry
Starving multitudes
And speaks
Beatitudes
That welcome and include
All who are
-cast out.
I have heard there is One with a reputation
Who has
Healed
Bears love unsealed
Sins repealed
From death a shield
God made flesh
Revealed
I have heard there is One who
Teaches
And preaches
And reaches
Across boundaries
And barriers
And broken spaces
Showing love in his face
A Bearer of
Grace
In this place
Where disgrace
Shouts unclean
Get away
Don’t be seen
For you have a reputation
In this nation
That is your station
Of damnation
But he says
-no
Do you see
Pharisee
Her on her knees
It is she
At my feet
With tears
And fears
Amid your jeers
She has kissed me
When you missed me
And dissed me
And hissed
Your condemnation
When you warned
And scorned
Your countless
Frustrations
Accusations
Incantations
-of reproach
She persisted
In anointing me
With perfume
That fills this room
With her love
-that is great.
-So stop the hate.
And to me
There on bended knee
For all to see
This One
With a reputation
Of salvation
When my jar
Had been broken
And my love
Spoken
With tears
And devotion
Emotion
Raw
On display while the bread was broken
Then
This One
With a reputation
Of salvation
Said
To me
for all to see
-And hear
For you
There is
No condemnation
No damnation
For your faith has saved you
With a reputation
Now
Rise from your station.
-And. So I. Did.
Forgiven
I am she
That is me
Don’t you see
My jar broken open
Perfumed aroma spoken
Love poured in grace
In that space
From his face
To me
A sinner
-Set free
Now
This is my narration
A woman with a reputation
Of sins forgiven
Joy
Redemption
Salvation
That is my eternal station.
