We All Have Something

My son wanted to talk about the death of rapper, producer, and actor Earl “DMX” Simmons. He reminded me of the various number one, platinum albums from this prolific artist. I noted that DMX, “Dark Man X,” even wrote music detailing his relationship with God. Yes, he struggled with drug addiction, but his walk with the Divine was just as pronounced. He was in and out of prison, but he never understated the presence and power of the Holy One in his life. “Lord Give Me Sign,” “Jesus Loves Me,” and “Prayer” are just a few of the songs boldly revealing his spirituality. DMX also declared he was a deacon and later a minister.  

As a New Testament professor, I often interrogate of how the Bible appears in pop culture. Movies, literature, poetry, art, and music pepper my course syllabi. I engage these sources as means of connecting a historical document to this current context.

I also seek to find synergy between the past and present. While not an aficionado of rap per se, I admit DMX helped do some of this heavy lifting. His rough tone, verbal gravitas, and intense lyrics not only provided a path for connecting in the classroom, but opened a door to peeping into his own struggles. As artistry does, there was space to contend with my own challenges and idiosyncrasies. Say what you will, DMX reminds us that we all have something.

We all have something with which we are struggling. There is an addiction Achilles heel or an issue that is not a reflection of our best self." In II Corinthians 12:6-7, Paul calls it a “thorn in the flesh.” We may not wrestle with repetitive cocaine or crack engagement, but it could be anger, domestic violence, or alcohol use proclivities. We all have something. It is pointless to parallel life circumstances or equate personal vicissitudes. Such existential Olympics is unnecessary. 

The bottom line is there is an issue that makes us triangulate individual shame, guilt, and embarrassment. If we are honest, on our best days the matter or matters lie just beneath the surface. On our worst days they erupt in volcanic fashion spewing fire and singeing all in our paths whether intentional or not.

The past year’s Covid-19 context has no doubt exacerbated whatever was and is the troubling in our soul. Isolation, social distancing, limited forms of connectivity, and the loss of loved ones due to the virus have been sources of emotional, mental, and spiritual agitation and dishevelment. An increase in domestic abuse, assault, and other acts of violence, particularly in the home, attest to this. 

Yet, the coronavirus condition has provided a place of pause and pensive positioning. The forced abating of some activities has coerced us to slow down and think on many matters. Even in the midst of the chaos, there have been opportunities to creatively reconsider who we are as a people and as individuals.

We have had time to ponder the something rubbing like sandpiper in our lives. 

The death of DMX proved to be another personal and theological watershed moment. May his words call us not to judge each other, but to lean in and lead with gentleness. For the truth is, we all have something.

Life or death, live or die (Uh)
I will never live a lie (Uh)
I'm gon' get because I try (What!)
I won't quit until I die (What!)
I'm gon' make it, wrong or right (Yeah!)
And make it through the darkest time (Yeah!)
And when the morning comes, you'll see
That all I have is God in me (Lord give me a sign!)

-“Lord Show Me A Sign” by DMX


Stephanie-Crowder.jpg

Dr. Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder

Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder, author, speaker and teacher, is a Baptist and Disciples of Christ minister who holds a Ph.D. in New Testament from Vanderbilt University. Her latest book is When Momma Speaks: The Bible and Motherhood from a Womanist Perspective. This #WomanistMomma currently serves as Associate Professor and Academic Dean at Chicago Theological Seminary.

Facebook: Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder
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Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.

As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.


Dr. Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder

Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder, author, speaker and teacher, is a Baptist and Disciples of Christ minister who holds a Ph.D. in New Testament from Vanderbilt University. Her latest book is When Momma Speaks: The Bible and Motherhood from a Womanist Perspective. This #WomanistMomma currently serves as Associate Professor and Academic Dean at Chicago Theological Seminary.

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