The Journey
Photo by Egor Komarov on Unsplash
“For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess” (Deuteronomy 30:16, NIV).
Now, I know I look 38, but I am 55 years old, and over the last few weeks I learned something about myself. It took me all this time, but I have learned my lesson. Here it is in a nutshell: ENJOY THE JOURNEY! Let me break it down for you…
I played basketball from age 4 to 23. I loved it. I breathed it. Then, for the next 18 years I coached basketball at the collegiate level. I loved it until I did not anymore, when God changed my heart and gave me a new assignment. That new assignment was kingdom ministry outside of coaching. I woke up one morning in 2009 with the words: Dee Stokes Ministries, A Worship Experience: Song, Prayer, Devotion in my spirit. Over the next 10 months I asked God what that meant. Of course, initially, I told God I would not go into ministry. Famous last words. But He was gracious to show me what He had in store and I finally surrendered and began my life of ministry unto Him and within His Church! I gave up a six-figure salary, 5-bedroom house, 2 cars in the garage to serve the Lord and I will not go back to what or who I was before He arrested my heart!
There is so much life to live. So many unfulfilled dreams. So much work to do in the kingdom! So many people to love and care for. So much love to receive.
I have always loved winning, but in reality, I hate losing more than I like winning! The score at the end of games really meant a lot to me. A win makes the ride home great, we eat good, and we laugh. With a loss, we sulk, the ride stinks, and we may eat not so nice food. That in a nutshell is the life of an athlete and coach.
This insatiable desire to win, I recently recognized, has left me looking at the scoreboard at the end of the “game” instead of enjoying the journey of my life. I realized that in my relationships, work, and play, I am always searching for the “W.” I want to win. I want to succeed. I want to do things the right way. Some of my relationships have suffered. Maybe this is why I never got married or had children. I was always chasing the “W.” Win. Win. Win. “If you ain’t first, you’re last, Ricky Bobby” (from the movie Talladega Nights). What I have missed and not enjoyed was the journey. If we enjoy the journey, the wins will take care of themselves. There is so much life to live. So many unfulfilled dreams. So much work to do in the kingdom! So many people to love and care for. So much love to receive.
I recently had brunch with a mentee who explained that she and her boyfriend had gone ring shopping. As I was sharing this revelation about winning with her, I told her: do not allow that ring to disrupt your relationship. Do not think that he will ask you to marry him in the next two weeks and focus on that more than your relationship. The ring then becomes a distraction (the win) and you miss out on the journey. We put the cart before the horse/the end before the beginning, and if we are always thinking about the end (the win) we never enjoy the full 40 minutes of the game (life).
I often feel the weight of caring for people. My best friend says I feel responsible for the people I love down to the core of my being. She is right. I am sure you as a leader feel this weight as well. BUT, I am challenging you with this revelation I have received about myself. It is the journey that matters. I have vowed that for the rest of my life, I want to meet new people, be on an adventure, continue doing lots of kingdom work, live outside the country at minimum for a few months, love, live, laugh, and so much more. I am challenging you to do the same. What is on your proverbial bucket list? What do you want to see/do? Where would you like to go? Who do you want to meet and spend time talking to? I hate to use the term, but JUST DO IT! Let’s not waste another moment being lonely, feeling sorry for ourselves, or not enjoying this life God has so graciously given us. Stop looking at that scoreboard and live! I command you to live!
“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord” (Psalm 118:17, KJV).
