Devotions for Dementia
Photo by Robina Weermeijer on Unsplash
As a minister, I was quite accustomed to driving in unfamiliar settings. I usually came out all right in the end. However, on this journey, I was navigating in the winter in unfamiliar settings trying to handle dirt, then mud roads to visit the home of a hospice patient who was at the end of his life.
I’ve always had an ease around death and dying, and I’m quite comfortable ministering to people in difficult times, so what caused my wayward journey to sit with a dying man? It was the inability to take complicated directions and to apply them to a new task, combined with deeply ridged and snow-covered muddy roads, and then ever increasing anxiety over the passage of time. Except for the time I spent sharing scripture, reading a devotion and offering comfort through prayer, it all led to growing discomfort and fear. Speaking to someone leaving this world is the one gift I hope I never lose.
I haven’t served as a pastor or a chaplain for over a year. My work life may be done, but I feel that I have more to give to those who suffer from life‘s altering diagnosis like Alzheimer's disease and other conditions.
On a Saturday afternoon, my daughter and I entered my mother‘s room in a nursing home. Mother was always very talkative and this day she was no different. She pointed to the wall by her bed and said, “This little guy is here with his friend and he’s talking about going out to dance.”
There were no little men going dancing in her room, I assure you. She was experiencing a phenomenon called Charles Bonnet syndrome, which causes images to appear to the sufferer in vivid ways, as though they were seeing them like any other person.
My mother wasn’t disturbed by the vision, but she welcomed them as she would welcome any new friend. The thought of that day is made much more poignant since my own diagnosis 10 years later. I would not have expected a sudden end to my work life and a new journey to achieve a judgment which will render me unable to work in my chosen profession. Trust me, no one else would choose me in any profession.
While I am able, however, I want to do the one job I have always seemed to retain since childhood. I still want to write and I want to help others who live with dementia, Alzheimer’s, or a handful of other conditions that steal away with our personhood.
If someone you love is dealing with dementia or other neuropsych issues, what tactics do you use to bring them out of an episode of dementia? Sometimes distraction works, but only for a short time. I know how we feel we must make a visit to a loved one meaningful and memorable, trying to cover up and manage our own discomfort. We think we have to be always upbeat or end our visit on a high note.
Sometimes we all need to have space to be sad or angry, or unable to express ourselves. When you have dementia this becomes more difficult to direct. The right words may be no more accessible for them. Here is where we can introduce scripture for those who are struggling to communicate.
Dementia - ever wondered what dementia feels like? How does it change our perception of life? Is it scary? Does it affect our faith in God? What about our relationship to God?
What we really want to know is where is God in the midst of our dementia and other diseases? Is it polite to assume that the demented or served person will not understand what we’re expressing or why we’re telling them?
We should never assume how or what the person is experiencing. I once visited a woman in a nursing facility and I prayed for her in the week ahead. Usually she remained silent, but this time she spoke.
I’m fortunate enough to have decent cognition most of the time. At times I can still recognize when I’ve gone off the rails. Then there are times when I can’t follow a conversation. Since writing is so natural for me I assume it will last longer than some of my other capabilities. I used to describe my work as “Words are all I have.” Little did I know how right I was!
One piece of my life dementia hasn’t stolen away is my vocabulary and my skill for joining words together in ways that cheer, encourage, and stimulate, but also charge, inspire and engage. It’s perfectly fine to let scripture do our talking for us. When we can’t use our words we can use the words of inspired ancient text.
Dementia isn’t a 20th century invention. Jesus healed those who were said to be possessed by demons. What an apt description for those whose disordered or diseased minds have difficulty making sense of chaos.
