Blog Posts
A Call For Compassionate Farewells
People leave and get let go. People quit and get fired. This is not a conversation about that. This is a conversation about how we treat people who leave or get let go.
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
I had to ask, “What do you want people to know about what happened to you?” He replied, “I have never felt more betrayed in my life.”
My friend had spent seven years at his previous church as the youth and family director. He invested so much of his life there that he had grown to consider the staff and the community his family, and they had grown to call him the same. He loved them, and they loved him.
Because of this love, the decision to leave didn't come easily. The details as to why he decided it was time to look for a different job had nothing to do with the staff, the people, or the ministry. It was a soft nudge over the course of several months that made him pursue something new. After deep conversations with his family and friends and several interviews later, he found a new place to call home.
He was excited about what was to come, new opportunities for him to use his gifts and passions and for his family to grow in new ways. But all of his joy was severed the moment he put in his notice. In a matter of days, a special meeting was called (one he wasn’t invited to attend), and he was asked to turn in his keys and not look back.
In a matter of days, he was without a job. No utterance of severance or additional considerations or assistance was made. He, his wife who was 34 weeks pregnant, and his two young kids didn’t know what to do. He had secured a job, of course. That’s what had set this all in motion, but it was several states away. They had not planned to move until their child was born, and his new job wasn’t to start for another several months.
Now he and his family were left holding the bag. Overcoming the logistics of such a scenario was difficult. By the grace of God, his friends, family, and new employer came through and made it all possible.
There was nothing more difficult, however, than the betrayal and disillusionment that began to set in. Nearly two years later, my friend is still working through the heartache of this moment in their lives.
And he is not alone. Here is another friend’s story.
Imagine you have just worked 200 hours straight. This is what it's like when you are the youth director and lead mission trips. You, a couple of dozen students, and a few saints you call volunteers travel, sleep, eat, and serve in less-than-perfect conditions for hours on end. When you are the youth director leading a mission trip, sure, you get to sleep, but “with one eye open.” You are constantly on high alert, paying attention to everyone's needs, caring for, loving, and walking with the entire group for hours. You return home exhausted but full of joy after what seems like one of your best trips yet. You had invested a lot of effort over the last several months to try and get more high schoolers involved. You worked tirelessly to iron out all the details and make this trip one that your students would remember forever. Your first regular workday post this trip ends up being one you will never forget.
Three minutes. That’s how much time was dedicated to telling another friend he was being let go. He was asked to leave immediately, packed everything up, and was gone within the hour.
People leave and get let go. People quit and get fired. This is not a conversation about that. This is a conversation about how we treat people who leave or get let go. It's about what it means to be an example in the world in all facets and treating people as if we actually believe that they are created in the image of God, worthy of and deserving of love and respect.
Every council, boss, and church has its own way of handling these situations, and no scenario is typically straightforward. Many factors come into play. You may have questions about each situation, such as whether they were performing their jobs well, had received warnings, or whether other factors influenced the decision.
There may be an inclination to wonder what they did to deserve such treatment. However, there are few situations in which that matters. If we can understand that nothing would prevent us from receiving God's grace and mercy and that there is nothing we can do to earn it, why are we so unmerciful? Why do we lack such grace with each other?
My friends and colleagues were abandoned in both situations and left to fend for themselves in difficult circumstances. There was no transparency about why they were let go so abruptly, and both were denied the opportunity to discuss what went wrong and gain closure.
They did everything suggested. They reached out to their hiring bodies and their church governing bodies. They sought wisdom and counsel from various sources, but they were met with a hands-off approach and "this is not my problem" attitude. We can do better, and we should do better. If you're someone's boss, on the council, or a church member, we can do better.
First, create or ask for a standard of integrity. Whether you’re in charge or not, it’s fair to ask that people are treated with respect, kindness, and compassion and that your church’s actions align with the values and teachings of its faith.
Second, clarity is loving. The church leadership should communicate with the staff about why their being let go and any next steps that need to be taken. When my second friend was let go, they were not clear about final payments or ending benefits and things got complicated fast. Clarity includes being upfront and transparent about severance options, final paychecks, and benefits. If you’re in a position to offer support, please do. Financial, sure, we would all love that, but emotional and spiritual as well. Both of my friends reached out for pastoral care and received nothing in return.
When appropriate, be honest with your church. If you’re the leader who decides it’s time to let someone go but you’re hesitant to share with your congregation, perhaps rethink how you’re handling things. Greater honesty can make it the easier for a congregation to handle staff transitions. Striving for transparency when people leave and get let go will help bring a sense of normalcy to something that is already true.
Third, openly pray for your departing staff and their future endeavors. This demonstrates care and concern for the staff's well-being and is a way to show love and support that doesn’t require any resources you may or may not have.
Finally, please conduct a review. If the staff member was terminated, the church should conduct a review to talk about the reasons for the termination and evaluate any potential areas for improvement. This helps provided clarity and closure.
I know that every staff departure is different, from place to place and person to person. In all cases, we should do our best to care for staff when they leave. Maybe this is already a core value for your church, to create an environment of love, transparency and grace. Maybe you already work to create more compassionate farewells. Wonderful. Now encourage others to do the same.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is finishing her MDiv at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN. Jess has served at St. Mark Lutheran in West Des Moines, IA, since 2018. She’s served in many roles over the years and is currently serving as their Intern Pastor. Jess is always down for a board game, a cup of coffee, and something crafty.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
The Pursuit of a Child’s Faith
Photo by Fermin Rodriguez Penelas on Unsplash
At the church where I serve, our most active families with kids are in worship 2 to 3 times a month. Let’s say that’s about 1.5 hours a week between worship and fellowship. Now if we do the math (mumble, mumble, carry the one), this is anywhere from 36 to 51 hours a year. These are numbers I think about every year, not out of judgment but out of a sobering truth that the hours a kid is in church pales compared to the hours they have at home.
I celebrate ten years in ministry this year, and each year of my work has included children and family ministry in some capacity. I have done some really fun and meaningful things in my time planning Sunday school lessons, Vacation Bible School and mission trips. One of the most important things I have learned over the years is that investing in a child's faith is a shared responsibility between the church and the family.
While Sunday worship and age-specific programming are essential, more is needed to build a robust and sustainable faith foundation for children. While your church staff and volunteers only have a few dozen hours over the year, the parental figure in their life has thousands. It’s the everyday moments, conversations, and practices that grow and engage a child’s faith, and these happen outside the church. I want to share some practical tips and mindsets that parents and caregivers can adopt to engage their children's faith outside Sunday worship.
Be Willing to Share Your Own Faith
One of the most potent ways to engage children's faith is by sharing your own. Telling kids what to do and how to live without giving context and reasons isn’t all that fruitful. Kids are smart, and they can sniff out inauthenticity. So, instead of justifying faith practices by saying, "That's just what we do," or "That's what God wants us to do," share your experience with God. Tell your kids what it's like to have a relationship with God, how God has helped you through tough times, or how you have grown in faith over the years. Be honest about your struggles, doubts, and questions. Sharing your faith story is not to coerce your children to believe but to be a witness to how God is at work in your life.
Find Your Support and Resources
Helping kids build a strong foundation of faith requires a community. Find other families of faith and communities of faith that can speak into your children's lives and be a witness to God's ministry. Surround yourself with people interested in sharing their faith with kids, practice their faith daily, and can be a sounding board of support for your family. Connect with other parents in your Church and join small groups or Bible studies. Attend family retreats or parenting workshops. Use digital resources like podcasts, blogs, or devotionals that cater to families. Reach out to your church. When you aren’t sure about something you experienced in worship, read in scripture, or are looking for helpful resources; they should and can show up for you.
Practice What You Preach and Lead by Example
Actions speak louder than words. Demonstrate the important things. If you believe it’s important for your children to participate in your church community, show them its value in your life. Parents and guardians are the primary faith influencers in a child’s life. Children watch and learn from their trusted adults, even when we don't realize it. In the most beautiful and messy way, they absorb every word and deed you put out there. This means leading by example is a must. Make a list of essential parts of your faith, like; attending church regularly, serving others, giving thanks to God, and being gracious to yourself and others. Being intentional about your faith practices gives your kids an opportunity to learn from someone they love and trust.
Reinforce Faith through Everyday Practices
Once you’ve made your list, then you can start thinking about how this shows up in your life and where to invite your kids to be a part. Parents can reinforce faith by incorporating simple and intentional practices into their daily routines. Here are some examples:
Memorization: Memorize Bible verses or passages as a family. Post them on the fridge or in your child's room as a reminder.
Meals: Pray before meals and have gratitude for the food, the people who prepared it, and the blessings in your life. Use mealtime to have meaningful conversations about faith, values, and life.
Bedtime Prayers: Make bedtime prayers a part of your nightly routine. Pray for your children, family, and others who need God's love and grace. Encourage your children to pray for their intentions and share what's on their hearts.
Serve and give back to the community: Regularly volunteer at a local food bank, serve at your Church, or even help a neighbor in need. By serving others, your child will learn the value of giving back and seeing the world through a faith-based lens.
Reflect on your experience in worship: What happens in a worship service varies from church to church. No matter the structure, there are plenty of things to talk about. Are you in a particular season in the church (like lent)? What does that mean? Do you say specific prayers or creeds? You can talk about the music, the sermon, the scripture, communion, and so much more. This can be a simple way to engage in conversion with your children. You get an opportunity to encourage curiosity, teach and share.
Emphasize the "Why"
Emphasizing the "why" is an essential aspect of engaging children's faith outside of Sunday worship. When children understand the reasons behind certain practices or beliefs, they are more likely to develop a deeper connection to their faith and feel more invested in their spiritual journey. Another way to emphasize the "why" is to encourage children to ask questions about their faith. Parents and caregivers can create an open, supportive environment where children feel comfortable asking questions and exploring their beliefs. When children ask questions, it allows them to delve deeper into the reasons behind certain beliefs and practices, which can help reinforce their faith.
Pray through it all
Don't forget to pray. Invite God into your parenting Journey. You can ask for God's guidance and the Holy Spirit to be present as you grow and your child grows in their faith. In this journey, it's important to remember that not only are parents and caregivers, the church, and your faith community working in tandem to encourage a child in the relationship with God, but the Holy Spirit is in the midst of every layer and every piece. Intentionally praying over your child and their faith is holding a posture of openness to the spirit's wisdom and direction.
Remember that at no point are we doing this work alone. God is present through it all; you’ve got your community, your church, and your faith leaders, and you’ve got me! Together we will do what we can to help love, support, and nurture our kids. So that they may come to know and love a God that loves them so dearly.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is finishing her MDiv at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN. Jess has served at St. Mark Lutheran in West Des Moines, IA, since 2018. She’s served in many roles over the years and is currently serving as their Intern Pastor. Jess is always down for a board game, a cup of coffee, and something crafty.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
Lenten Devotion - Scripture Study as Spiritual Practice
1. Endure and Overcome
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4
Recently an elder in our community, more than 50 years older than me shared how concerned they were about all that has been happening in our world. They talked about their life and lamented at some of the changes over the years, and my relief slowly started to emerge. When I tell you I felt so much better, I felt SO much better. The thoughts and feelings I had been having were normalized and some of them were even shared by this person. It gave me some perspective and encouragement. It reminded me of the first time I read the beginning of Moses' story. I had always known of Moses who stood up to Pharaoh and parted the Red Sea. I hadn’t known of the Moses who was also hesitant. It changed the way I felt about my own uncertainty being called into ministry. This is the beautiful power of scripture. Encouragement and hope reside in the pages of stories about people who endure and overcome. To dwell in the Word every day is an opportunity to find peace you didn’t know you needed. May the Word of God bring you encouragement, peace and hope as you relate to the stories of people who came before you.
Loving God, open the Bible to me. Reveal your love in the stories from of old. Show your character in the pages of this book that has been passed on from generation to generation. Shepherd me through studying your scriptures. Amen.
2. Living and Active
Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword…it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 14:12
Something that tempts me more than I want to admit, is the attitude of ‘I already know’. I catch myself assuming I already know what a piece of scripture has to say to me or to the Church. If you’ve been around scripture, church, or a community of faith in Christ for a while there are some stories in the Bible that get repeated over and over again. I find it hard to read, listen to, or engage in conversation without assuming I already know what God has to say through those well-known stories. But if I believe that the Word of God is a living and active word, as this text tells us, this mindset may be a problem for me. If you can relate, here’s what I have to remind myself when reading: I must hold an attitude of openness, and a sense of humility to keep learning and hearing something new.
God, let your word speak to us in new ways, help us to hear your words as if they were being told to us for the first time. Help us to have an open heart and an open mind to your living Word. Amen.
3. water and word
It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4
Have you ever heard that when you’re feeling hungry or snacky that you should drink water first? See, we’re dehydrated so often, what we might be feeling is thirst and not hunger but it’s hard for us to differentiate between the two. It’s funny how often we misread what our own body needs. It made me wonder: How often do we misinterpret and neglect our own need for God’s Word? This might be a confession you can’t relate to, but sometimes I will go all day without drinking water (because I love coffee too much). I get to the end of the day and I can’t figure out why I feel so gross, so tired, so unwell. Then it clicks. ‘You didn’t drink ANY water ALL DAY.’ Well, something else clicked when reading this text. Some days end with me lying in bed wondering why I feel so gross. I would run through my personal checklist: I slept well the night before, I ate well, drank water, was social and so on. Click. You haven’t read your Bible IN DAYS. I’ll be honest, I forget that to read my Bible daily is to care for my body, my mind, and my spirit in the same way that drinking water does.
God, we give you thanks for your Word. Remind us of the nourishment that comes from your Word. Feed us with the good food of your love, that we might taste and see your goodness in all that we do. Amen.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
Join us for a two-day retreat to renew our spirits and re-align our leadership. Featuring Nadia Bolz-Weber, Tod Bolsinger, Joe Davis, and Jenny Sung.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
Reigniting Purpose in Your Ministry
Maybe I should do something else for work?
If you're working in ministry through this season, raise your hand if you've thought this, said this in confidence to your friends, or just blatantly set it out loud. I keep thinking about all the other things I could be doing. People tend to play out different scenarios in their head — kind of like picking the ending of those Goosebumps books. If I didn't like the outcome, I just went back and picked the other option. Sometimes I play the “What If'' game. What if I had gone to dental school and spent my days telling people they should floss more? What if I had stayed in the field of journalism? What if I hadn’t moved or had taken a different job?
My friends in ministry have spent many hours dreaming about everything from starting our own churches, inventing cool gadgets, driving for UPS, to creating content. A lot of this dreaming is just for fun. But the dreams have hit a little heavier and have been a little more frequent lately.
So why do we feel like this so often?
For me, it starts with false logic. It goes a little like this: when things are hard, I feel like I'm doing a bad job. I believe if I'm doing a bad job, I must not be a good fit. And if I'm not a good fit, then I should just give up. Well things have been hard a lot lately. We claim that it's “just a season,” but that season seems to keep getting extensions. So then I have to ask why things are this hard?
Well, the demand to produce ministry is so high. Too high. It feels like we have to make up for Covid lost time. I feel so much pressure to perform at a certain capacity, to get a certain amount of things done, to push for more and better ministry. That is exhausting, and not exhausting like how I feel after Christmas Eve, or a mission trip, or family game night. It's fatigue, it is a lack of energy, and it's really hard to get pulled out of that.
We’re close enough to the new year to be setting resolutions and goals, right? Here are some of the things I'm going to strive to remind myself and put in practice moving forward:
It’s not my job to solve everything myself.
I can manage my energy more efficiently.
I can focus on the values behind my ministry that give me purpose and joy.
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in trying to solve problems, trying to build relationships with everyone, being a really good team leader, preaching a really good message, and upholding the church that I lose sight of God. One of my friends and colleagues is really good at reminding me of this: I am not Jesus. I am not the savior of the world. I do not carry the weight of salvation on my shoulders. God is God, I am not. And not only does that provide me relief when I remember it, but also it reminds me that God is at work – that we are working in tandem with God.
One of my professors said it this way: “God is responsible for God's Church.” Meaning, at the end of the day, there is truly only so much that I can do. There is only so much you can do.
So I'm going to ground myself in the truth that God is at work in our ministries, through us and around us.
Second, I want to manage my energy better. Energy plays a key role in my attitude and in my ability to enjoy my work. I always talk about how I have 10 coins. These 10 coins represent the amount of energy that I have every day. I start the day with 10 coins and throughout the day different tasks and social interactions deplete the bank. At the end of the day I go home and relax. I do the things that I need to do to replenish the bank.
I want to pay more attention to how expensive certain tasks are. In particular, I know there is one project in my ministry that almost depletes my entire energy bank. So I know I should hand-off that project to someone for whom it will cost less to do. Now this doesn't work for every task that I have, and it might not work for every task you have. But I do have the authority to delegate and give tasks to somebody for whom it will bring life. This may be support staff or a volunteer – somebody who will be excited about the project and will be willing to invest in it; this will be better for me and better for the ministry itself.
Third, I want to spend more time focused on my ministry values instead of ministry tasks.
I’ve found this to be a more helpful lens through which to view my work. Two very important elements of ministry for me are relationships and team dynamics. I want the relationships I have with students, parents, and other congregants to take priority. This might seem like a no brainer, but it often feels like a genuine challenge to prioritize relationships. This might be pausing just a little bit longer between worship to catch a few more people or to have longer conversations. This might mean less teaching and more listening.
Team dynamics are also of high value because I believe a cohesive team can withstand turmoil, handle conflict, encourage creativity, and carry out vision. My, oh my, do team dynamics take a lot of time and care. But I’ve seen the work pay off and it’s worth it.
In sum, please know you are not alone in your struggles, in your weariness. There is so much in this moment that we do not get control over and that demands our mental, physical, and spiritual energy. We can acknowledge and accept that, while also working toward practices that reinvigorate the why of our calling to ministry.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
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Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
The Future of the Church is Young
A few weeks ago I went on a mission trip with a group of middle schoolers from my church. I’ve led middle schoolers in different capacities over the years, but nowadays I spend most of my time with elementary kids. Honestly, I had forgotten how wonderful and absolutely absurd middle schoolers can be. I truly enjoyed my time with our students, I learned a lot from them and was challenged by my time with them. Yes, they tested my patience in more ways than one (they’re really good at it), but to my surprise they challenged the way I had been thinking about them as members of our church community. Throughout the trip, they had a lot of opportunities to be honest about their faith and their experiences in the church — a beautiful element of mission trips that I had forgotten about.
I’m still processing all that has stirred in me since our trip, but as always, I’d like to share my experiences and what questions I’m sitting with.
Open Mic
One of our evening outings was to an open mic prayer worship service which may be familiar to some but was not familiar to our middle schoolers. The pastor opened up the service by explaining how anyone could come up at any time to share a prayer or a piece of scripture that was on their heart. The worship team would be singing, members would be praying, reading scripture, and leaving space for anybody to forward as they felt called to do so. For the first hour most of the people who stepped forward were members of the worshiping community. Finally the pastor got up to encourage the students to share something, anything and with that prompt one brave soul decided to step forward.
Bashfully stepping to the mic, the kid began pouring out their heart. They talked about how their mom had been struggling financially and how that struggle has stolen their joy, impacted their family dynamics, and how everyone is really feeling the pressure, pain, and sadness of their financial situation. After sharing this story, a member of this worshiping community got up and together we prayed for the student’s family.
Then the floodgates were opened and student after student got up to ask for prayer as they shared about their difficult home lives like; upcoming life or death surgeries, cancer, suicide, financial insecurities, and family dysfunction.
They truly bore their burdens before the community.
As I listened to all of the sixth, seventh, and eighth grade students speak, my heart broke, and I was pushed to look at them differently. I had spent the first few days caught up in all of their minor annoyances, keeping up with the schedule, and making sure that at the very least their Bibles were in their backpacks.
At some point, I confess, I had begun to think that their hardships and problems were rather shallow.
Of course I had thought about the impact of the pandemic, and then I started to compare that to the hardships of some adults I know who have “real” responsibilities and “real” problems. What? As if these middle schoolers are not real people with hearts that feel and eyes that see and minds that are trying to process all that surrounds them.
Listen, our kids feel the weight of this world too.
They may or may not be paying bills, but they are seeing and feeling the burden of financial insecurities. They’re feeling the weight of family dysfunction whether it’s alcoholism, abuse, the process of divorce, or otherwise; they see it and they feel it, for themselves and those around them.
Later that evening we had time with our church group to sit and talk about their experiences at the prayer service. I must admit, the students were not afraid to share how boring they thought our own worshiping community was, which was no surprise to me but it did spark a helpful conversation about what they hope for and desire in their own communities.
They want a community that feels genuine, personable and open. What a beautiful thing to want for your community. This is what I've learned, my students desire for the church to feel like a welcoming place for them; a place where the “mic is open” and they have the welcomed authority to co-lead.
I’m not talking about “youth Sunday” where once a year they get to lead worship however they want. I’m not talking about all the opportunities they have to “serve” and do the heavy lifting in the projects no one else wants. No, these students enjoyed the freedom to be a part of the community, like the “grown ups” and not apart from the community as the youth group.
So the question is, what does it look like for the voices of our youth to be invited in, heard and included in the ways we do for adults? What needs adjusting in our minds and hearts to see and hear them as members?
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Please
Part of our mission work throughout the week was going to different service sites across the city. Students are asked to work on a variety of projects with a variety of people. At the end of our service day, we gave the students an opportunity to ask the adults some questions. One question that continues to stick in my mind was, “Why do adults always look down on kids?”
While there were chuckles from the adults, myself included, I immediately felt the genuine heartbreak in this question. I began thinking about all of the hard work that our students had done all day and all week. I started to realize how we kept asking and asking of them. We had asked them to pick up trash around neighborhoods, pull giant weeds in gardens, pack food at pantries, and make friends with every person they met. Yes, they’re on a mission trip and that’s part of the gig.
But the truth is that we have asked for and expected a lot from these kids. We want them to behave a certain way in church, be excited about youth ministry but not too excited that they cause a ruckus. They’re “what’s wrong with the church” and they’re usually the first to get volun-told for projects at church. This question gave the group an opportunity to be honest about the fact that adults are complicated beings too. We don’t always get things right and we are coming to the table with our own stories and our own desires.
Our students want to be respected in the ways that every being deserves.
Some of us have a tendency to think that respect needs to be earned; that might make sense sometimes. But here, in our faith community? With the youth of our community? I think they have asked a great question. I continue to ask myself, how do we teach, nurture, and encourage other generations while respecting them as individuals and a collective?
Can we…?
I’ve continued to mull over one of our final conversations. We are driving a bunch of minivans and there are seven middle schoolers in my van, having a wonderful time, bopping to classic cartoon theme songs. We are laughing, joking, and chatting when there just so happened to a prime opportunity to ask them a question about confirmation.
I asked them “If you were in charge of student programming, (what we call confirmation) what would you do? What would it look like? I got a few less than helpful comments and never-going-to-happen suggestions, but I also got a lot of really constructive feedback. There was more excitement about their ideas and the possibilities than I was anticipating.
Most profoundly, they asked for an opportunity to disciple others.
They literally asked me if they could help teach the elementary kids about Jesus.
“You know what we should do? Like, we should have one Wednesday or Sunday where we all get to lead the elementary kids or something? Play games, do the skits and bible study and stuff. That would be so fun! And it would help us learn to share what we’ve learned!”
I am beside myself every time I think about that request. They want to go and make disciples. Had I not asked, I would have not known. If I gave them more opportunities to imagine “the Church,” they would.
I am sharing these experiences with you because they brought me more understanding, empathy, and encouragement. As we continue to walk into a new chapter in the Church I want us to be doing so wisely. We’re wondering, what does our community need, how do we serve each other well? That requires a lens that looks for the underserved, under-appreciated, and unheard; in many of our communities that includes the youth. After a week with these rowdy kids, I feel challenged to look at the ways I embrace and engage our youth and how I can be a better advocate for them within our community.
I embolden you to consider to do the same.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
Two Truths for a Post-Pandemic Church
Has this ever happened to you; there is a TV show you love to stream and either you get distracted between seasons or there are some production delays, so a significant amount of time has passed between watching the last season and the newest season? There is so much excitement when you begin watching the new season as you recall how great the last season was. Then you start watching the show and somehow, it’s different from what you remembered. Maybe your favorite character has left, maybe the storyline hasn’t changed or changed too much, maybe you overly romanticized the show and now you’re disappointed. Or maybe you are in a different place in life, and you relate to the characters a little less.
You know what’s funny, in some ways this is how people are experiencing their return to living life in public, more specifically, this is how we’re experiencing our return to an in-person Christian community. As a leader in a community, it would be easy to assume that each member “returning” to our sanctuary is ready to rock and roll picking things up where we left them at the end of season three. But this is one of those seasons that opens with “three years later” and we have to spend the first half of the new season catching up.
We will be doing ourselves a disservice to believe that everything is the same, can be the same, or should be the same as it was before the pandemic. I know a lot of community members and leaders are wondering what ministries will look like as guidelines change and vaccines continue to roll out. I am a firm believer that each ministry’s answer to this question will be and should be different. But as we move into the next season of our ministries here are two things I’m thinking about:
We cannot pretend everything and everyone is the same.
This last Sunday, I connected with a family I hadn’t seen in a while. We’ve connected on Facebook, we’ve emailed about some service projects, and the ministries their kids are a part of. Although we have stayed connected in these ways, they have not been physically in worship for fourteen months. Fourteen months. As we chatted I started to really notice the people walking through the sanctuary doors. Then it hit me, while I have known these people for some time a lot may have happened since I last saw them. It would be silly to assume that after a year and a half that anyone would be fully the same person they were before and therefore why would we assume our community is the same? Have you ever thought about how much can happen in one's life after so many months? In some ways as our communities return in-person, we are creating a whole new community. It’s almost like you’re joining a new church or taking a new call; the first phase is getting to know the community.
As we begin to gather again and see some people for the first time in a while, let’s not assume we know this version of each other. Our experiences over the last several months have influenced how we see and experience life. Our experiences of grief, loneliness, isolation, loss, and rage have shaped us. Just as our experiences of joy, new life, love, accomplishment, and healing have changed us. I think one of the best investments we can make right now is in getting to know our community once again. There is no need to assume, instead let’s hold a posture of curiosity and a desire to know one another.
Take a moment to focus and be grounded in a fundamental truth.
As we enter a new era in our ministries, we will need to hold in tension our desire to do everything and our true mission (whatever that is for your community). I already see communities reaching for all the things that sound fun, trying to make up for lost events and experiences. I am deeply hopeful as things continue to evolve in a positive direction for my community, but I don’t want to romanticize the idea of community so much that we do not love or lead our people well.
I want to encourage you as well to take a moment to focus and get grounded in your mission and values so that when the desire to guide people into returning to church arises, you will have something firm to stand on. As I sit in meetings about sermon series, worship plans, and community outreach opportunities, I’m trying to remember how these ideas fit into a large narrative both missionally and biblically. So if the question we’re pondering is, what does post-pandemic community look like? I argue to start with your mission and theological framework. What is your understanding of community? How is that different and similar to Christian community? What purpose does community serve in our ministries? Is it to get people committed to the church you lead? Is it to be a gateway to dollars and keeping the church alive? Sometimes our actions make it seem like the latter are our true desires.
When I think of the Christian community I hope for, it’s one of transformation, redemption, and reconciliation. A community that reminds each other of who we are in Christ and how we are loved when we forget our value. A place that seeks justice, liberation, and serves beyond itself. This isn’t a thought experiment for one, but for all, every leader and member can benefit from a moment to reset and reframe our work as move forward.
One final thought, and listen close, I’m going to tell you something you may already know but you might need to hear anyway. This is not a competition. This is not a race. There is not a trophy to be won here. We are too diverse, and our needs are too great to be in a competition mindset. Lean into one another's strengths and strive to love your community the best way that you can.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
A Year Later, Who Are We?
A year later, who are you?
I’ve been thinking about the lap we’re making one year after the first lockdown in the United States. It feels like we’ve been running a lot longer than a single lap. But that’s a conversation we’ve had before. Lately I’ve wondered, after this year, who am I now? What has changed in and around me? Not to spoil the ending here, but I’m going to ask you the same questions. But first, here’s what I’ve been curious about as I reflect on this question.
How have my relationships changed?
Do you feel like the same person? Frankly, I don’t think we are. I know I am not. I have learned to give myself far more grace than I could have imagined. I have grown to stand my ground with more ease. As a conflict-averse person, I have learned to live with more tension in relationships. Before the summer of protests, one of my personal goals was to ‘find my voice’ as they say. This year planted its hand firmly on my back and gave me a big, aggressive shove toward this growing edge. I’m still working on it, but 2020 got me to where I am now.
I’ve also seen some of my relationships with others taper off. In certain cases because I quit reaching out, and in others because they never called back. At the same time, there is a group of people I have talked to every single day since the lockdown began. We have video chatted through the most shocking, traumatic, and ridiculous events of the last year. A year of distant relationships has challenged me to put forth a different kind of effort in order to maintain the relationships I value. While several friendships flourished in ways I could not have predicted, I found myself devastatingly disappointed with friends, family, and colleagues as we maneuvered through systemic issues, politics, church, and pandemic life.
My working relationships are different as we’ve grieved together what may have been lost in ministry in 2020. They’re also agitated because of the quick changes, inconsistent communication, and difficult conversations we’ve endured.
Maybe your relationship with wellness, prayer, food, or reading has changed? So what about you? Have your relationships changed?
Have my priorities changed?
We spent the year being restricted in ways that made us ask: ‘What really matters?’ Some of us had extra time on our hands, and we wondered how to reprioritize it with family, time outdoors, new hobbies, new businesses, and added wellness habits. In some spaces, we added things to our lives, and in other spaces we had to trim. We sat in Zoom calls with our staff and figured out how to move forward with all the limitations we had. This happened to the staff I serve within our congregational setting.
When we had to figure out what online worship looked like. We knew that it wouldn’t be like it was before. We knew that we couldn't offer all that we had before. We needed to ask ourselves what really matters here. As the worship experience began to change, we had to dig and wrestle with our theological understandings of worship, community, and service. If community is important to us, what does it mean to have a community in a digital and physically-distanced time?
In a year that had us at our wits’ end nearly every day, we had to ask, ‘what gets my effort, and who gets my energy?’
I found myself having more compassion, love, and grace for myself. I remember in the early weeks of the pandemic, everyday there was a new challenge. I was figuring out how to be present for someone after they lost a child. How to celebrate an engagement and a wedding. I was figuring out how to maintain energy and momentum in life when no day was like the one before.
As I sat with my own trials and listened to the experience of others, it became more and more clear to me how much nuance exists in life. While I don't believe that there's an antidote to this nuance, or that we even ought to avoid it in the first place, our best treatment plan certainly is compassion and grace. I prioritized compassion and grace for myself and others.
My favorite thing to do is ask questions and encourage you to reflect. So, as we move forward together, here is what I wonder.
How will we make space for, acknowledge, and work through our grief and trauma as a collective?
As members and leaders of the church, how will we not just ‘move on’ or ‘get over’ the pain and loss of this last year, but instead knead it into goodness? There is strength, not weakness, in lamenting, confessing, and repenting over 2020. Let us pave the way as leaders. Let us hold a posture to intentionally address this year so that we can foster a healthy and thriving community.
How will we continue to cultivate an accessible church community?
My worshipping community has reached more people in the past year than we imagined. A digital worship experience has allowed us to reach people beyond our church walls. People who are homebound, people from out of state, or people who don’t feel safe in the building. Is it everyone’s preferred form of worship? No, it is not. Does it create more work for the staff? Yes, it does. Does everyone have endless resources to pull from? No, but we always have more than we think.
Let’s keep working at this because the truth is: there are people seeking a community who have yet to find a home. They’re looking for a place that is wheelchair accessible, a place with subtitles, and a place with inclusive and thoughtful language. Can we continue to work through the barriers to accessing worship in our churches? Yes, yes we can. Let’s be a body that serves everybody.
What is our commitment to social and systemic change in our communities? How will we be accountable to the conversations, statements, and promises we made in the last year?
I am grateful for the people who stepped up, stepped in, spoke up, and spoke out advocating for justice and change. Those social statements are empty without real back-breaking commitment, because that’s the effort needed to make change. For better or worse, the Church has influence in our communities. We don’t do what we do without believing in God’s power and the impact of the Church. Leaders and members of the church dedicate energy to well-thought-out strategic efforts with regularity. Capital campaigns and improvement efforts are rarely successful by asking for support from the front just once. We have the skills and framework to create and commit to a wise and intentional plan to tackle racism and white supremacy in the Church.
How have you changed? Who are you? How have your people changed? What will come next? I am praying for our internal and external reflection. May God reveal the goodness to be had in a reflective journey.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
One Year Changed: Faith in Pandemic
A ready-made, virtual Lent retreat for you.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
The Capitol Riot Exposes Bad Theology
Just over a month ago, I was shaken to the core as I watched a group of people storm the United States Capitol. The foreshadowing of the last several years left me unsurprised such things could happen. What did baffle me and ultimately shook me was that many of these actors, insurrectionists, believed their actions were justified by God.
Along with the flag of the United States, they waved Confederate flags and “Jesus is my Savior” and “Trump is my president” flags. Several people erected a wooden cross on the Capitol grounds, and there appeared to be a heavy display of Christianity as people violently tried to take over the Capitol. The eyewitness accounts that came out afterwards sent me spinning. In one video, a man with his body painted, covered in fur, and wearing horns, prays. In another, a group of rioters are seen standing on the Senate Chamber floors. They stopped for a prayer, “Thank you heavenly father for gracing us with this opportunity.”
Since that day, I have wrestled with this fact; those who stormed the Capitol and thanked God for ‘allowing’ them to do so, read from the same Scriptures as I do. We clearly run-in different circles, but both claim to be followers of Christ. It made me reckon with how easy it is to preach bad theology. It made me wonder if I would even know when I was being taught bad theology.
There is an unfortunate history in the church of using Biblical teachings to mislead and harm others.
I have been reading “The Color of Compromise” by Jamar Tisby, and he dives into this reality at the beginning of his book. European Christians made sure enslaved Africans didn’t have access to specific Bible stories and highlighted, out of context, certain pieces of scripture to justify the enslavement of Africans. They even went so far as to debate whether or not enslaved Africans could be Christian, and if they were baptized, should they be freed. They concluded, wrongly, that their freedom would not be granted if baptized. The liberation found in baptism did not include an earthly freedom.
I am not naive to think I am beyond reach of bad theology, and I don’t think you are either. So how might we guard ourselves and stand against blatantly bad theology? Here are some questions I ask myself and a few practices I try to engage:
Who is contributing to my theological understandings?
For me, this is critical. An hour-ish weekly worship experience is only a part of my theological and faith formation. It is fruitful to add to weekly worship rather than to rely solely on it. Dig into scripture within your community; a small group is a common practice at my church, close colleagues and other theologians. This isn’t to diminish the exegetical and prayerful work of pastors and leaders, but to expand on it. When I engage with others like this, it provides a robust interpretation as everyone reads and interprets with a different lens.
Our lenses are developed through our past and present experiences in the realms of family, work, education, and relationships. We can see the potential fruit of this practice in the four gospels. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all write about their experience with Jesus and each does so with a different lens. While these writings leave us with questions and grey space, we have a richer story because of all four books. Each writer sees things in a slightly different way; expanding on and filling in the greater gospel story. I encourage you to spend more time reflecting on your faith, theology, and scripture within a greater community.
What is my mindset?
A few weeks ago, I was hit with this question: Do you believe you know all there is to know about God? I was in conversation with a colleague, and I found myself judging their theology of God’s presence today. I caught myself and wondered where this was coming from. It was less about whether either of our theologies were correct. This was more about my mindset. I immediately denied someone else’s understanding of God.
After our conversation, I wondered how often I enter theological conversation or Biblical reflection with a fixed understanding of God, salvation, humanity, or more. How often do I hear a sermon or read scripture with the mindset that I know all there is to know about God or the scripture being shared? How often do I prepare to preach a message believing I already know what God has to say through a verse? I encourage you to reflect on your mindset as you engage in theological conversions.
Can I name and articulate my theological understandings?
Many of my theological understandings are in a state of remodeling. However, being able to articulate what I believe as of this moment is a helpful tool. It can be hard to work through or call out bad theology when I’m uncertain about my current theological understandings. I’ve begun writing these understandings down, shorthand and long forum, just to get in the habit of articulating my thoughts.
Ask: Can you say more?
We can ask questions and ask for more. The truth is, clergy, lay leaders, authors, and theologians have put in work to be the leaders they are today. They are knowledgeable and dedicate a significant amount of time to leading and teaching. When I hear a message from another church leader that doesn’t sit well, I understand these things; they may have misspoken, I may have misunderstood, and I can hold them accountable to an unclear or hurtful message. I must actively remind myself that I don’t have to sit in wonder about what someone might have meant or sit in the pain of their words well-intended or not. I encourage you to ask for more when more is warranted.
A few more questions:
What is this theology asking of me?
Is this a challenge that invites me into a deeper relationship with God, others, and myself?
Does this theology lead me to unwittingly or knowingly dehumanize or oppress others?
Does this make sense within the context of a greater Biblical story?
What does this say about who God is or who I am according to God?
Who else can I talk with about this?
Add some of your own framing questions, anything that might help you regularly work through new and old theological understandings.
Pray for Wisdom
We have been given the gift of prayer and the gift of wisdom. I live with the dual reality that there is much to know and much I’ll never know. I will place my trust in God and ask for clarity when things seem murky. I will ask God for wisdom when discernment is difficult. I will repent when it’s made known that I have preached, believed, or acted wrong.
There is no one-size-fits-all-five-step plan to combat bad theology. I’m also not arguing to question everything down to your very being. However, if we can get into the habit of living at the four corners of robust dialogue, genuine curiosity, regular reflection, and Godly wisdom, we might do alright.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
With seven-minute talks from faith leaders, activists, artists, and more, we will memorialize the way this moment has shaped us.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.
Burning the Candle at Both Ends: Ministry Self Care Is Essential
Preparing for Christmas in the church world is a time of joy and innovation; it’s a season that many of us love. When I look at my community, I see creative, fun, and reflective ministry happening. The Ideas are easy flowing as we lean into advent and prepare for Christmas. It can be fun, exciting and sort of magical.
It is also kind of exhausting.
It’s especially exhausting because we went into this season already low on steam. We’re still navigating a pandemic and dealing with political fallout. We’re still dealing with illness and death. We’re stuck somewhere between trying to please everyone and pushing people to deal with their discomfort. Either one is exhausting.
We’re convinced we’re doing alright and then turn around to see a pile of things we have left undone. We’re trying to compete and keep up with others who look like they’ve got it together. I hear leaders feeling guilty about rest. I see leaders adding more to their already full plates. I see leaders carrying the weight of whole projects and ministries by themselves. It’s true there are specific times of the year when we work longer hours and then we take it easy in another. Even with that understanding, I'm growing concerned for us, my dear friends. We’re all struggling to keep up in a busy time that’s wedged in a rather hectic year. If you’re not already there, I believe burnout is on the horizon.
Our ability to stay motivated? Decreasing.
Our ability to cope with stress? Depleting.
Our ability to handle day to day responsibilities? Dwindling.
Our ability to maintain relationships? Diminishing.
That sounds like burnout to me.
We need to work on healthy boundaries. We need rest. We're going to see burnout tear through the best parts of our lives. The relationship we’ve cultivated at work, in our families and with our friends will suffer. Resentment will rise, and our joy will recede. Our growing agitations will overshadow our passion. And let’s not underplay how it will affect our mental health.
My fear isn’t about burnout itself, but that we may walk away from ministry because of it.
So, I want to check in with you and give you permission to set boundaries and prioritize rest. I want to encourage you to take some time and do a full body assessment. How are you feeling physically and mentally? What's your energy level? Are you feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and under-supported? Where are you finding support?
I want to make it to the other side of this pandemic still passionate about ministry, in good standing with my coworkers - eager to work together. Beloved reader, I want good things for you too. I want to come out on the other side of this year together.
So here are the things I’m working on this week to help me get to the other side in one piece.
Saying “No” when I know
I try to stay out of projects that I know I can’t really commit to. I look at how much energy and time I have to spare; right now, I’m saying no A LOT. If I am being honest, there are projects going on at work that I wish I could be involved in. Sometimes I get really irritated about not being asked to help. My coworkers can attest to this. I am also fully aware that I do not have the time or stamina. I know being a part of those projects will create more unnecessary stress. You know what else? There are plenty of other people who are wonderful and capable of working on those projects. I don’t need to be a part of the project in order for it to flourish.
No new information
I go on walks and listen to Jazz. As I walk, I focus on the saxophone riffs and then my cold knees. Suddenly, I’m drawn into the wail of a new instrument, then back to my body and the juxtaposition of my sweaty hands and cold legs. No thought-provoking podcast or informative lectures to learn from, just the serenade of Jazz. I need this. I have a tendency to fill every moment with information. When I cook, drive to work, design a graphic, I listen to a podcast. When I fold laundry, do dishes or crochet, I listen to lectures. I love multi-tasking, but I know that my mind needs a break. Unfortunately, mindlessly consuming Instagram posts and watching Hulu is not the answer. So, I go on a walk and listen to jazz.
Rest, immediate and far-off
Rest is important. Read it again. Rest is important. A ministry friend just took time off to rest and spend quality time with their family. It’s the first extended vacation they've taken since March. Their first day back in the office, they instantly felt guilty for being gone. I know that feeling, and I know how it drives unhealthy thoughts and practices about rest. I know how susceptible I am to thinking ‘I can’t take a break right now.’ I immediately had to ask myself: Do you know; when is your next extended break? The answer might be ‘in the new year’ and that’s okay. Now work back from that; when is your next intermediate break? Can you take a morning or kickstart the weekend a few hours early? Then, what are you doing in the next 48 hours to care for yourself? Our bodies are strong and capable and they need rest.
Here are some questions to consider for yourself:
When was the last time I asked for help?
What was the last project I worked on that I was excited about or proud of?
Do I need more time to get this done well, to process this information, or to make a thoughtful decision?
What is bringing me joy?
You might brush it off, but I won’t stop encouraging you. I want you to know, you are not a bad leader because you need rest, you say no, or you ask for help. I can’t tell you what you need or truthfully, if you need anything. You might actually be feeling really good right now. Praise be to God. Keep this in your back pocket. Now, take a look around because there is someone in your midst that needs your support. No matter what, there is work to be done here.
Jessica Gulseth
Jess Gulseth is a seminarian at Luther Seminary in St. Paul seeking ordination in the ELCA. Jess is a Director of Children & Family ministry in the Des Moines, IA area.
Christ | Christmas | Covid
Providing spiritual leadership and comfort for church leaders (clergy, lay, and volunteer) and a space to grieve, lament, and reclaim the prophetic hope of this season.
Church Anew is dedicated to igniting faithful imagination and sustaining inspired innovation by offering transformative learning opportunities for church leaders and faithful people.
As an ecumenical and inclusive ministry of St. Andrew Lutheran Church, the content of each Church Anew blog represents the voice of the individual writer and does not necessarily reflect the position of Church Anew or St. Andrew Lutheran Church on any specific topic.